It’s 4:00am and I was just disrupted from my sleep by the sounds of a tranny fight (my favorite kind!!!) outside my window. I knew this because I heard a very masculine voice screaming, “Look what you did to my hair, BITCH! Look what you did to my hair!”
I instantly came to and leaped from my loft to get a front row seat from my first floor walk-up. And let me tell you…it. was. a. doozy: Tranny #1 hurled Tranny #2’s purse across the street, spilling a mass of papers, makeup and pre-packaged sweets all over Waverly Place. Tranny #2, inflamed by this act of disrespect, sprang at Tranny #1 claws first. After a few seconds of the two grappling eachother’s faces like two antler-locked stags, Tranny #2 took #1 by the weave and SLAMMED her face into the scaffolding pole outside 136 Waverly. The sound that came out of Tranny #1 when her head met the steel pole was the most harrowing and guttural noise I’ve ever heard - but hilarious given the circumstances.
While #1 was temporarily disabled from the blast to the head, #2 ripped #1’s purse off HER arm, spilled all its contents onto the street, kicked her belongings all around, then darted down into the subway entrance. By this time, the Tweetie Birds had finished cirlcing #1’s head and she was hot on #2’s trail. What I heard next was a brief period of horrifying screams echoing from underground…and then…nothing.
Should I call 311???
I can’t sleep now, I’m too excited.